New Dance School

A new dance school can be harder than a new school. New dance school kids have been together forever. They have bonded over recitals and competitions. They have shared experiences over years. It can be much harder to break into this crowd. 

Our plan to succeed?

1. Be patient

2. Prove you have talent 

3. Work hard

4. Do a good job for them 

5. Respect their bonds and successes

6. Participate in any bonding opportunity we can. That company BBQ you so want to skip? Go. Stay. Talk. 

7. Host a party

8. Sit back and watch for a bit. Be quiet. Learn how the studio operates. 

Does anyone have any more suggestions?

What to ask when selecting a dance studio?

Seeking some input on this one. Below are the questions I thought of do far. 

1. the obvious. Hours? Days? Prices?

2. Additional costs? Costumes, shoes, etc average

3. Any mandatory fundraisers?

4. Teacher credentials? Ongoing education?

5. Studio parent requirements?

6. Any off hour or out of studio requirements? Special shows, etc

7. Process for being in company; invited, auditions, open,...

8. Contract for company?

9. Who costumes and does make up and hair for competitions? Is there a QA or approval process at the beginning of the season and each competition?

10. Is a teacher present for every competition?

11. How are company numbers selected for solos, duos, trios, small groups, special parts?  Auditions or teachers discretion?

12. Can or should a parent stay during class? 

13. How many recitals/showcases do you have in a year? 

14. Where are recitals held?

15. Are parents allowed in the dressing room?

16. How much are tickets to the show?

17. Is there a ticket minimum per student? 

18. Sibling or family discounts?

19. Genres of dance offered? Any vocal or drama or acro offered in the studio?

20. Does the studio organize additional events for education or team building?

21. Are teachers able to handle special needs?

22. What is the studio dress code(s)?

23. What is mandatory for company?  For example no more than 1 day out during summer intensives. No vacations during competition season. 

24. Are private sessions available to all students?  Cost? How do you schedule them?  

25. Does staff support or notify of auditions or extra opportunities? Ex. Broadway dance center class

26.  Is the studio known for fun, technique, it's company, ...?

Studio hopper?

I hope I am not turning into a studio hopper. After 1 year of dance at a lovely fun studio we left. My daughter thought the studio was boring and crowded. She went to a fast paced, high energy, loud music, competitive studio. She loved it. She thrived. She has been here for 4 years. 3 of which she has been part of their company and does very well. It is her sport. This year she has struggled. 

She has had conflict with the young teacher throughout the year. She just turned 9 and is old enough to recognize unjust.  She also was a child to call it out. Thus the conflict began. She has been embarrassed in class multiple times. She has been sad. She has been beaten down to where she would not call anything out but still is called out in every class as being the problem. She cries and does not want to be with this teacher nor be in the numbers any more despite them being her favorite genres. I thought it would pass but did not the entire season. 

We also moved 2 years ago and are now traveling 25 miles to class. She is the only child from her school district in this studio. 

There is a competitive studio 8 miles away from our home. Their team does just as well as ours. It was actually originally founded by the same dancer. The school is in her school district. We attended 1 class to see first if we would be welcomed and second to check out the teachers and students. She was warmly received, as was I. She is begging to go. We talked about her commitment for the year but are strongly considering the move for next year. We were open with the studio owner. She would like to discuss further. We are good parents. We make and donate props. My husband does the floor work. I sew costumes.

 I tried early on in the problem to have a conversation with the problem teacher to find out what was happening. We still don't  know what the problem is. She was too busy for weeks. I scheduled a private and told her I wanted to use the time for us to talk when I got there. She said it was an ambush and she wanted her mom there. I told her i just wanted to clear the air and discuss whatever was going on. She is 25 and half owner of the studio with the other teacher. She denied any problem. She proceeded by moving my child to the back of class and the numbers and treating her even worse. Other parents say she talks about me and my daughter all the time. I believe it because I have heard her call other children in the studio horrible names. 

Her spirit during dance is already affected be aide she no longer believes the people who do best get the front. She say it doesn't matter what she does. The teacher always thinks she is terrible. From what I see, she is right. 

Is it studio hopping or protecting my child and her love of dance?

Taking it out on the kids.

I just watched "Dance Moms". Yes. It's true. After daily hours in the studio I still watch all the dance shows. In the Dance Mom case I feel like we live all the same issues but without cameras we see less.

Abby through this entire episode made the children pay for their mother's actions. Mothers were trying to protect their kids, defend them, or ask for an opportunity for them. Abby held a grudge about parents actions and is punishing all their children. Stop Abby. Please just judge the children for their own actions. Do not expect a 10 year old to leave the side of her parents, friends, and their parents to go against them and their orders to come to you. It is obvious they wanted to dance but kids have to listen to their parents.

Dance teachers please try to be fair to all children. Don't favor the ones whose moms are kissing your bottom. Don't punish the ones whose moms won't. They have no control over us. You do. Fairness and dedication and kindness to our kids will get you fairness, kindness, and dedication from kids and their moms. Be firm. Have discipline. Be an educator. Be professional. You are their role model so be a good one.

Playing Favorites; the catalyst for dance school drama

It is inevitable that dance teachers have favorites. Even if they say they don't, they do. Keep in mind that the very nature of dance is artistic. Most dance teachers are dancers. They are not formally trained educators. They learn those skills over time I believe with maturity, experience, a a genuine dedication to their students and their best interest.
We have a couple different teachers. One actually taught the other Fir her entire childhood as well as many other successful professional dancers. She is very transparent about having her favorites. She, however, has the maturity (now) to never let it impact decisions in the class. She is fair and the best dancers get the prime spots. If that means a "favorite" is in the back, that's how it is. Kids may recognize there are favorites but don't leave with feelings of unjust and hopelessness. They are still inspired to try to be the best because they will get a fair shot.
The other teacher however is quite the opposite. Favorites are favorites. Favorites will always be in the front. They will always be captains. They will always get attention. There is no fairness. Kids feel hopeless. They feel humiliated. They feel like they will never be good enough when in reality many are better. This teacher has even complained about multiple professional outsiders who rank the children and align them differently. She breaks down their choreography to move the favorites into all lead positions. When confronted by parents she defends her actions as if she is the professional and it is not favoritism. She will then take it out on the children. She believes she is outwitting them and proving her point when in fact she is creating parents battles, kids resentment toward each other, and the parents just give up on a mature, intelligent discussion. It is not possible with the defensiveness.
Now add to it that the second teachers mother is the office manager. She still pays the "mature, professional, studio owners" bills, does her laundry, organizes her calendar, drives her around, and prepares her meals, pays her rent while she continues to pursue a dance career. She will defend her daughter to the end with the same poor logic or add some crazy story about how it is just the way dance works. She then covers her daughter in case anything is reported to the other teacher, by manipulating a story about the awful parents and how they are interfering with class and harassing this teacher.
So, to the point of the post. The dance school has children who start out adoring each other. They are the best of friends. They enjoy seeing each other and being together. Parents generally get along or at least are cordial acquaintances bonded by the amazing friendships of their children and shared challenges of a run in their tights or a ripped costume. They cheer for a group, not just their own. Then the favorites become apparent. The sadness of their children. The protection of the favorites parents to keep them a favorite. The repulsive, bribing and phony acts of the parents who would do ANYTHING to become a favorite. The disgust if the parents who won't stoop to that. The overheard conversations of the favorite parents telling stories about children or other parents. Most stories not true or severely exaggerated.
I strongly believe the studio drama is all initiated by some action of favoritism by the second teacher. The best hope is that experience and maturity will develop the same fairness and honesty about favorites that her mentor has. I just hope it happens before more students leave and have to leave friendships and a big part of their life behind. Which is the worse of the two harms? Moms can't take it but let the kid decide. When they can't take it, you have to leave.

Costumes, costumes. Do you sew?

Just say no. I sew poorly and very little but somehow am making several costumes from edgy hip hop to classic ballet to authentic flapper.
I won't lie. If I could design costumes all day and make what I make now, I would jump. It is creative. It is interesting. It is rewarding to get to the end result.
It is also difficult and frustrating. You have artistic differences, kids cooperation and their tastes as well. It can be tough.
So advice... No. You don't sew.

Too much!

So the 5 numbers seem to be going well. We dropped a vocal group class that seemed to be beyond what my little ones attention could handle. We also dropped an acro class that got too full to seem safe enough for my liking.